Jay Ayers

Dear Friends –

It is Thanksgiving morning, a time when we traditionally take time to give thanks to God for all the blessings that our Lord has bestowed on us, even in the midst of hard times.

We usually think of “The First Thanksgiving” as the harvest festival celebrated by the Pilgrims and the Wampanoags at Plymouth, and that’s not wrong; but in terms of an annual nationwide expression of our gratitude to God, that came during the Civil War, with Abraham Lincoln’s proclamation of a “National Day of Thanksgiving” in August, 1863. He proclaimed a second “National Day of Thanksgiving” for the last Thursday in November, 1863, and again in 1864, and it has gone on from there. I think it helps us if we recognize that it was in the middle of the Civil War, with battles won and battles lost, with so many men killed and wounded, that Lincoln called on our nation to offer our heartfelt thanks to God for the blessings we have received.

I am sitting here in our home dialysis lab, receiving today’s treatment, one of my usual four times per week. The overall process takes about four hours: half an hour of prep, three hours of blood flow through the filtration machine, and another half hour of disconnection and record keeping. Micaela has become more and more confident as a dialysis partner, prepping my arm and inserting the needles. I can’t quite say it’s automatic at this point; there’s often some sort of a hiccup in the process. But we work through it, and it is becoming a routine procedure for us.

Some days I spend most of the treatment time reading; some days I watch a movie. We have the room set up so that I can type on my laptop — special thanks to cousin-in-law Richard III for the lap desk and mouse pad! — and I’m getting better at getting some writing done.

Today I’m pondering on the things I’m thankful for, and trying to be deliberate about expressing my gratitude out loud. Thank you, Jesus, for all the friends and colleagues and family who continue to support me in prayer through all of this. I’ve had cancer, and surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. I’ve had coronary artery blockages, and triple bypass heart surgery to deal with that. I’ve had kidney failure, and have been on dialysis for six months now. Thank you, Jesus, for your sustaining grace in the midst of a lot of struggle and pain.

I now know, in a way that I didn’t know before, that the love of Jesus does not mean you won’t get cancer. The love of Jesus doesn’t mean if you get cancer you’ll be healed. The love of Jesus doesn’t mean that you won’t get heart disease or kidney disease. The love of Jesus doesn’t mean that nothing will ever go wrong in your family’s health. Things will go wrong. Often. Our Lord created this world we live in a world as a place where things are allowed to go wrong.

Sometimes we ask, “Why didn’t God create the world so that everything was always perfect?” Maybe God did make worlds like that: perhaps many worlds like that. I don’t know. But this world, the world we live in, is one where things can and do go wrong. I’m one of those things that goes wrong: I make poor choices pretty often. So I’m not well positioned to complain that this is a world where God allows things to go wrong. In a flawless world you’d never find someone as flawed as me. Thank you, Jesus, for making a world where a frail and fallible person like me could exist.

In every life, things go wrong. Most of these things are irritating; some are scary; at least one turns out to be fatal. But the sustaining love of the Lord holds us all, now and evermore. Thank you, Jesus, for loving the world: thank you for loving me.

Blessed Thanksgiving! I am so grateful for all of you –

blog: james-ayers.com

1118 Conifer Court
Jenison MI 49428
jayers55@gmail.com
(316) 323-9107