The psalmist is forthright and penitential about the problem: “For my iniquities have gone over my head; they weigh like a burden too heavy for me.” (Psalm 38:4). And again: “I confess my iniquity; I am sorry for my sin. ” (38:18).

Can I count on those around me to help me? Not much. My enemies see my situation as an opportunity to kick me when I’m down (38:12): “Those who are my foes without cause are mighty, and many are those who hate me wrongfully. ” (38:19). And my “friends and companions stand aloof from my affliction, and my neighbors stand far off. ” (38:11).

I know I need the correction, there’s no doubt about that. Yet if the judgment of God comes down upon me to the full extent that I deserve, I’m gone for sure. And so I can only pray, “O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger, or discipline me in your wrath” (38:1). I’m not pretending I’m innocent; I admit I’m a total mess (38:5-8), and I am desperately aware of my need for you: “Do not forsake me, O Lord; O my God, do not be far from me; make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation” (38:21-22).

We should notice the theological insights present, in the midst of this life-or-death situation. The framework of the psalm is the recognition that I will live or I will die: and lost as I am in my sins, I have no ability to affect the outcome. If I die, it is only what I deserve. If I live, it is only because the Lord is merciful. The grace of God is the only chance I have: and so “it is for you, O Lord, that I wait; it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer” (38:15).

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I am no better than the psalmist, O Lord, and perhaps I am worse: far too often I pretend that I am innocent. Yet I, too, am a mess, with sins stacked up higher than my head. Come quickly to help me, Lord my Savior! I put my hope in you, this day and always.

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