Last week, August 30, we began round 4 of chemotherapy, which had been delayed from two weeks earlier due to numbers in my bloodwork being too low. During that two week delay my oncologist discovered that a mistake had been made. Because of my Chronic Kidney Disease, he had ordered the standard dosage for one of the cancer drugs reduced by 25% (thus, to 75% of the standard dose). That had somehow been misread or mistyped by someone, and so the script said 25% of standard dose. Thus it seems they had been going too easy on me. With the infusions for round 4, then, that has been amped up, to 75% of standard dosage.

This has led to some increased side effects. One is serious cold sensitivity in my fingers and throat, and somewhat on my tongue as well. This makes it harder for me to eat ice cream or drink cold drinks: another loss I could do without. They’ve placed a Zio heart monitor on me, because of intermittent low pulse rates: I’ll get the results from this in another couple of weeks. And I had a sense of moderate chest pressure – not heart pain, but close enough to get them worried – so they paused last week’s infusion, moved me to the Emergency Room, and ran a bunch of heart tests: all were negative, no heart trauma showing anywhere. We finished the infusion the next day, with no further problems.

The day 2 hiccups continue on schedule, still controlled by holding my breath, disappearing, reappearing, gone by day 3. Hair continues to fall out. I’m still low on energy and stamina. These are minor annoyances, reminders of my mother’s words: “getting old is not for sissies.”

Paul wrote to the Philippians that God “has graciously granted you the privilege not only of believing in Christ, but of suffering for him as well” (Phil 2:29). Is suffering a gracious gift? I don’t know of anyone pining for this gift. Yet hard times are an important experience: that’s where we know that the presence of Jesus genuinely sustains us when things aren’t going well. It’s easy to be happy when everything is great. When times of testing come along, that’s when you find out that the power of Jesus is sufficient to hold you together. That’s the lesson I’m presently learning. Slowly.

I am forever grateful for all your prayers and support –